The Incredible Hulk

Good action, but feels lifeless and jarringly chopped up.

The Incredible Hulk: 4/10

Iron Man

Entertaining romp that introduces a fascinating lead character, but steadfastly refuses to explore him.

Stark's character arc ends in the first act, making way for a fun, competently-made and acted, yet emotionally unfulfilling film.

Iron Man: 5/10

The Wackness

Distinctive direction, amusing performances, an appropriately lazy, hazy, retro feel, aaaaand... that's about it.

Apparently, Levine was either too lazy to aim higher or had chronically underachieved for the entire 100 minutes, which consists of him dabbling and clumping bits and pieces of stuff-that-matters (family dysfunction, drug addiction, depression, suicide) with stuff-that-doesn't-matter (musical references, faux-philosophy, high school), and turning them into one large, clunky, and (usually) underplayed joke.

Ultimately a frustrating film that delivers a couple laughs, but not much else.

The Wackness: 4/10

Son of Rambow

Messily made and amateurish, it plays,
An ode to old childhood and much better days.

Simple and sweet, like its hero-boy's person,
It's also the reason it occasion'lly worsens.

Son of Rambow: 5/10

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Done.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall: 4/10

My Beautiful Girl, Mari

My Beautiful Girl, Mari is a beautiful girl, indeed. In fact, she's so beautiful that nobody seems to care if she's kind of slow, doesn't have much to say, and tends to ramble on incoherently about ridiculous flights of fancies. (Giant white puppy dogs walking on cotton candy clouds? Puhleeze.)

The initial glimpse of her is quite heavenly, evoking images of flight, serenaded by heart-tugging song. And then the rest of the hour passes by in slow motion, thanks to some of the slowest animated framerates I have ever seen. You know, for a movie about the fleeting spirit of childhood, she sure doesn't fleet. But moves. Like a corpse. With a walk. -king stick.

She's also a fairly shallow creature, deluding herself into thinking that gradually revealing cause-and-effect statements like "my father died, I'm sad" or "my best friend is leaving, I'm lonely," is somehow deep and moving. She also keeps implying that her crazy LSD-induced images aren't just random, abstract delusions, but are actually ambiguous visual metaphors that mean something, which she, of course, refuses to reveal. If inkblots can mean something, hon, I'm sure humongous flowers and shining marbles can too.

Mari did get one thing right, though. She is a lot like a childhood dream - nostalgic and pleasant look at, but doesn't really amount to much and, in the end, is completely, completely forgetful.

My Beautiful Girl Mari: 4/10

Go, Speed Racer, Go

"Orgy, hell: The film is like a nightmare in which you're trapped in an arcade with screens on all sides and no eyelids."
David Edelstein

"Gaudier than a Hindu-temple roof, louder than the Las Vegas night, Speed Racer is a cathedral of glitz."
J. Hoberman

"So hyperfrenetic that, in the end, you wonder if the Wachowskis aren't trying to pull off an elaborate hoax – a deranged techno fantasia posing as retro-ish family fare."
Peter Ranier

"'Speed Racer' proudly denies entry into its ultra-bright world to all but gamers, fanboys and anime enthusiasts."
Kirk Honeycutt

Well then, count me in.

Speed Racer: 7/10

Redbelt (See Poster For Ending)

Well-acted (but im-
plausible) underdog sto-
ry that doesn't

Redbelt: 6/10

The Dark Knight is About George W. Bush

Using the character of Batman as a not-so-subtle filmic representation of the President of the United States, Christopher Nolan has given me a whole new appreciation of good ol' George W.

It only became clear to me at the climax of the movie, but, looking back, I should've seen it coming all along. I mean, just consider the progression of events:

A known, but untouchable, group of criminals have terrorized Gotham City, until a heroic aggressor finally steps up for the good citizens and starts aggressively hunting down the evil, in a large cloud of public praise.





Fittingly, the specific first act of violence in the film is initiated and orchestrated by an insane, unkempt radical with a propensity for making home videos. This, effectively sets off the war that's about to be waged in the film.

Said heoric aggressor, namely, Bruce Wayne (or W., B., as I like to call him), funds his war on terror by misappropriating large amounts of hard-earned corporate money to his own personal weaponry department, creating never-seen-before technology to wage war with.

When one of the foreign conspirators (who is actually only marginally connected to The Joker) manages to escape back to his home country, Geor... er, I mean, Batman launches a top secret mission in which he infiltrates said foreign territory and illegally extradites the suspect, throwing him into a local prison. He later dies, but not before immeasurable amounts of cash are burned for the purpose of killing him.

Despite this public "victory", Public Enemy #1, is still at large, so Batman results to torturing suspected criminals for wild grabs at information. This marks the start of an epic physical chess game where The Joker and Batman keep one-upping each other in an effort to gain supremacy (all right, so, this part is slightly exaggerated).

The battle escalates to the point where the public begins to urge Batman to step down, in order to stop the madness, realizing that Batman's reign only attracts terror, as much as it deters it. Public favor suddenly starts to shift towards a young, highly charismatic politician, who begs for people to believe in him.

Batman begins to consider stepping down, even going so far as joking to his ancient, right-hand man that he'll go down with him. This all changes when The Joker eludes capture yet again, prompting our hero to initiate a controversial movement that allows him to access all the public's cell phones and geographic locations. Due to his actions, his African-American confidant and chief of his defense department nearly resigns in disgust.

Finally taking a swerve into speculative fantasy, Batman captures The Joker after a confrontation in a construction site, but not before The Joker and his cohorts leave a large trail of bodies behind.

Realizing that he partially was responsible for the trail of destruction, our hero heroically accepts responsibility and even is willing to paint himself as a villain, selfessly and heroically paving the way for the aforementioned young upstart politician to take his hero's mantle, and deliver the message of hope and change to the world.

And thus ends George's Bruce Wayne's hero's journey, as he runs into the night after sacrificing his public image, being chased into the shadows by an angry blue mob.

George W. Bush, may you be chased by men and dogs.

The Dark Knight: 8/10

Chaos Theory

The Checklist

1) Solid performances. CHECK.
2) Capable direction. CHECK.
3) Appealing balance between comedy and drama. CHECK.
4) Likeable characters. CHECK.
5) Plausibility. CHECK.
6) Brisk pace. CHECK.

The Cards
1) Plans vs. Whims vs. Fate
2) Fatherhood: Nature or Nurture?
3) Gun control.

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

The Outcome
A well-made "happily ever after" film lacking thematic resolutions and missing out on its potential.

Chaos Theory: 5/10